Not blogging! Babies. Why give up something that you only do once a year? Oh, hang on a minute…
When I say I’m done with babies, I don’t mean that I’ve finally decided not to go and pick them up from my mum’s house and move into the Travelodge by the station (a long-held 3am fantasy). I mean that, at the age of 40 and three quarters, well into my heavy eye cream years, I think I’ve finally given up on the notion of having a third baby.
I’ve been speaking to a few midwives lately about talking honestly when it comes to pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood. These midwives also emphasise the importance of positivity around birth and avoiding scare stories. For a layperson and veteran of just one birth, it’s an interesting and tricky balance – communicating honestly so women don’t feel like they are failing but not introducing unnecessary fear, which can have both mental and physical effects during labour.
I’m in awe of these midwives, their absolute belief in women’s bodies and mental strength. Their positivity is infectious. Every pregnant woman should have people like this around them. And I’m inspired by the honesty movement, the argument that women should share the things that challenge them. It’s so important we understand that we all have tough days and don’t love every single aspect of motherhood.
So, in the interests of honesty, here are a few thoughts on something that really got to me when I had my daughter last year. It stemmed from a negative experience during birth so I’ve been reluctant to flag it up and in doing so, break that particular taboo. But, over a year on, I still remember with absolute clarity my fury at the way that, rather than acknowledging and supporting a woman after a difficult birth, people would often tip honey over it with one phrase… “It’s all worth it though, isn’t it!”